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Why did you choose this username? This username has certainly raised a few eyebrows. It's deliberately meaningless and meaningful all at once. I chose it for two specific reasons. When I first created my diary here at Diaryland, I was so depressed and trodden on that I felt pretty worthless...like a bug. I wanted to expose all of the pain and hurt inside me - for introspection from my part (because at the time I was only vaguely aware that others would bother to read what I had to say). However, aware that my writings would be stumbled on by some, I named my diary "Step On The Ginger Bug" which was an invitation for others to "step on me"; to read my raw, inner thoughts (and think what they will of them. Possibly also point and laugh). The "Ginger"-part comes from my red hair, and the fact that red seems to be a colour that defines me somehow. With poetic hindsight, I could claim that naming myself a "bug" was in intuitive preparation for the eventual rebirth of happier times - much like a caterpillar pupating inside a chrysalis...only to struggle free, only now as a winged butterfly. But I can't pretend I would have been this poetic. Hindsight can be such a flattering filter. One final thought on the "bug" - I now work for a software developer. I secretly get a lot of amusement from the fact that our software is rather "buggy" at the moment (as it's still in Beta-stage). But then I'm sad like that. Why do you keep a diary on-line? At first, I really just NEEDED to think in writing. I'd kept a journal of some sort for most part of my life, but always on paper. I started writing a diary at the age of 6 (my first ever entry being about a bowl of Weetabix turning soggy...riveting, no?). I kept writing, to the tune of 100-400 pages a month until the age of 17. Then things happened. Boys, clubs, University, life...and I was just far too busy (and happy, I guess?) to keep a diary. There was no time, but most importantly no need for one. Several years later, I found myself in desperate need for just this kind of outlet. Adding to the collection of old diaries (which I have a suitcase full of) just didn't seem right. I had also developed a reasonably notable presence elswhere on the Internet. So - a web-based medium seemed right. The final prompt in the right direction came from a journalling friend who half-invited half-pushed me into taking the step towards on-line diary creation. When the writing itself came...painfully at first, then more fluidly - I realised that there could be a reason beyond introspection for all these musings and revelations. Some other person, possibly experiencing similar things, might read what I had done/felt and get some help or comfort from it. A nice, lofty thought. I had my only experience of this ideology in practice not too long ago. Someone whose diary I had been reading, was about to do something very stupid. I turned them to selected entries in my diary, which dealt with the same issues. The stupid things remained undone. The other diarist changed his mind and we have retained some contact. It's enough to know that what I've written has helped just that ONE person. Like most on-line diarists though, one of my main reasons for all the public writing is, of course a degree of morbid fascination with the workings of one's own mind - and the faint hope of being noticed in some sense. By someone at least. Otherwise the therapeutic written form of introspection might as well happen in one of those dusty old notebooks and end up in another suitcase. How important do you think a layout is for a web-based diary? Would you also comment on yours? Diaries, to me, are about writing. They provide a home to the words. For this reason, any layout that makes the entries difficult to read is redundant in my eyes. I also can't stand diaries full of every possible "cool" gadget...because the blinking images and scrolling status bar tickers only serve to take attention away from the main content. That's if there is any content to be taken away from...and this is always a suspicion raised by cluttered pages. Is the author trying to distract visitors on purpose? A designed layout (as supposed to templates provided by diary-sites such as Diaryland) is good because it usually reflects something about the personality of that author. Nothing fancy is required, though. My own layout has been slowly evolving. It's the way it is mainly for my enjoyment. Easy to read, the entry has central position and everything else is optional fluff. Navigation is intuitive. The colours say a lot about who I am. No large images so as to make the page load faster. That's it really. What gave you the idea to create this interview diary? What do you expect from it? The idea for this site has been brewing for a little while now. Seeing all the cool review sites wasn't the direct inspiration - rather, the feeling that the reviewed diarists should have the option to "have their say" too, made me think of this formula. I wanted a site that would combine several purposes: The diarists would get their 5 minutes of fame. The visitors would get a cross-section of interesting diaries to view, based on our subjective selection. The creator would have an excuse to read lots of diaries. I've read lots of entries that left my head full of questions. I didn't want to rank diarists, nor did I want to favour those who have nifty layouts. I wanted a collection of interesting PEOPLE, with something interesting to say. What do I want from this? It would be awesome if this would develop into a community of sorts, and promote on-line diaries in general. Who knows. We could be the flavour of the month and end up forgotten later. It's up to you guys what happens! Your writing is sometimes painful, sometimes happy, but always honest. You've started a diary ring called "Clarity" for similar writers. What prompted you to create a diaryring and have you found it satisfying to you? You know, I sometimes freak out when I realise just HOW honest I've been. Every week I almost make the decision to take my diary off-line. Clarity was the early incarnation of what has now developed into this site, I suppose. Although it's easier to get interviewed than it is to join Clarity. I have hand-picked some of the members - and I guess the main quality I'm looking for is honest, open writing as the PRIME reason for a particular diary existing in the first place. I don't want Clarity to be bloated with hundreds of members. I would like for it to be used like...well, a webring! Surf to find diaries of same ilk. Actually [insert pet hate-warning]: I hate the way diaryrings have turned into "stamp collections" - how many people actually SURF them? Argh. Anyway, Clarity isn't my ONLY diaryring...but I'm not about to plug the others here. Your entries Story and Retrospect are some of the most heart-rending entries I've ever read on d-land. What was your motivation for sharing these and other painful memories with the world? Oops. I guess I've sort of provided answers to some of this already. However, I can elaborate. "Retrospect" was written as a step-by-step account of the break-up of my last relationship. I had to write down the detail to believe it. It needed to sink in. Some of what happened, still hasn't. "Story" was very difficult to write. I was looking for a way to examine and expell some very painful memories - memories that I hold largely responsible for some of my present problems. I wrote it in third person and only realised afterwards that this must have been a way for me to separate myself from the events. It happened to someone else this way. The hardest part about writing the way I do, is not "beautifying" my own actions. I have very publicly recounted events which prove, that at times, I have been a total idiot. I examine my entries for "smoothing of the edges" and if I find any, it makes me annoyed. I need to learn from my mistakes and in order to do so, I need to tell it like it is. When are you planning to come to Seattle? Who knows...? Actually, I'd come over soon, but first I have to go to Scotland, Reading, Australia (twice), Finland... I will, however, hereby publicly promise that I will come over one day. If you could be any character out of The Dark Crystal, who would you be and why? Ooo, what a cool question! I would be Aughra, for she was very wise. And that detachable eye would come in very handy. Do you prefer milk on your Ozric Tentacles?
(What? I get three spoof questions? I'm being spoiled!). Ozrics, yes, umm. No milk thanks. I'm allergic to dairy products. Soy milk will do. (And yes, I am the only one with Ozric Tentacles listed as a favourite at Diaryland. This either makes me very cool, or very, very sad). Actually, my favourite music is mostly of the noisy kind. Or has a Goth slant. Most recently my ears have been filled with the melodies of London After Midnight. And the dying screams of Interview-victims. Interviewed by Devnullicus
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