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Please give a short bio of yourself for our readers. A short biography. I was ejected from my mother's vagina on September 26, 1981 at 4:45 PM in Liberty, Texas.... I'm a sophomore at the #5 liberal arts college in the United States (according to US News). The alma mater of Nathaniel Hawthorne (author of The Scarlet Letter), Henry Wadsworth-Longfellow (the poet), Franklin Pierce (ex-president), William Cohen (former US Secretary of Defense), and Joan Benoit (former Olympian gold medalist). However, making it to that point came from a lot of hard work and a rather diverse bildungsroman. I was born in Southeastern Texas, moved to Wisconsin as a baby, lived there until 1990, moved to the Ozarks of Northern Arkansas, and lived there until August 2000 when I made the trek up here to Maine for college. I am currently going for my B.A. as an Art History major, East Asian Studies minor. In January, I am off to the Boston University School for the Arts, where I will co-enroll in the College of Arts and Sciences to attain my B.A. in the above major/minor, while working on my M.F.A. in Sculpture. From there? I hope I can get into Harvard again, to go for my Ph.D. in East Asian Art History. They always say, the third time's a charm. I hope they give me a better financial aid package. If not? I'll be bleeding every single fellowship and government grant/loan I can. I'm not turning them down again. I love the colours black and turquoise, and I hate spiders and grasshoppers. I am also the poster boy for emphysema since I smoke. Oh yes, I'm also bisexual. Why did you choose this username? Saturn, in astrological terms, is the planet of responsibility, karma, and the impetus for learning things the hard way. It's seen as a negative planet by some, but look at some of the Capricorns out there. They're ruled by Saturn. They're hard-working, determined, centered, and tenacious. Karma, responsibility, and forced resilience are not things to be afraid of. Saturn was my favourite planet growing up. Something that is so large, has 17 moons, yet can float in one of our oceans? Amazing. Mythologically, Saturn was the father of Jupiter (Zeus) and was the ruler of time and the harvest. My birthday is in late September, during the harvest. It's my favourite time of year. Also, my favourite character in the Sailor Moon anime was Sailor Saturn. Her name is Tomoe Hotaru. (Firefly of the Earth). A definite saturnine figure. Fireflies are my favourite animal because of their symbol of ephemeral beauty. "Hotaru no Haka" (Grave of the Fireflies) is one of my favourite historical drama animes from Japan. I'm not an anime otaku by any means, but I do like a bit. I even have the kanji for "hotaru" (firefly) tattooed on the back of my neck. So I signed up as Saturn. Oopsie, already taken. My internet nickname was "Saturne Diabolique" (Diabolical Saturn) in other chat places. I figured I'd use the French version. It adds a certain gothic panache. Why do you keep a diary online? Honestly, I have no fucking idea. I have been good friends with a diarist, Demoncry, for about 5 years. I knew she had a diary, along with Emystica (another mutual friend). I would read it often. I, personally, thought the whole online diary thing was ludicrous. I keep a personal handwritten diary and the thought of someone reading my diary seemed downright ludicrous. Mostly because, nobody is going to be 100% honest when it comes to a diary they know will be read by others. Audience bias, if you will. Whether they embellish things, pick stronger adjectives/adverbs to make it more appealing to the popcorn-munching-greasy-fingered cyber audience, or just flat out lie - the whole idea seemed counter-productive. Look at poor Anne Frank. I'd be rolling in my coffin if I knew my diary was published. However, I finally decided I would take a stab at it. I definitely still keep my real diary and write in it daily. My online one? I look of it as a way to let my friends know what's going on with me. Still, it's my creation, it's my space, and I don't write to satisfy anyone. How important do you think a layout is for a web-based diary? Would you also comment on yours? Layouts are important. I understand that not everyone out there is HTML-Javascript literate. Also, I know some people are too busy to take the time to learn. I, myself, fall into this latter category. Hence, Demoncry did my layout. It's your diary. Your artistic, aesthetic, and personal views should be displayed visually in conjunction with your words (verbally). The templates (I'm so sorry, Andrew) are hideous. If you have to, make a black background and just make little links and white text. Anything but the templates. Sunset looks like someone threw up a Screwdriver and the Mello-Yello one is just plain macabre. Similarly as layouts are nice, the focus should be on the *words* and not the pretty pictures. Gaudy diaries with lots of bells and whistles are pretentious and rather annoying. People with those scrolling entry diaries (where you put your mouse on the "up" or "down" links and the words automatically roll down like a severe weather report on the Weather Channel) will lose me as a reader immediately. That's just ridiculous, plus, it conflicts with lots of browsers (Netscape, especially). I make my diary web-friendly (the only thing that will not work with certain browsers is my graffiti board). I have simple easy to follow links lined up, a few icon-links to Diary Groups I belong to, and an icon to a good friend, poet, artist, and psychic friend of mine, Solstice. The banner at the top is a work copyright to Demoncry. There is a scythe like object called a "Silence Glaive" and the girl on the left is Tomoe Hotaru (Sailor Saturn) from the Bishoujo Senshi Sera Muun (Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon) manga. The little phrase, "A nice dose of the saturnine for the bitch in us all" is actually a sarcasm on my part. I get really tired of reading diaries by 13 year old girls who moan about their daddy grounding them from going to the mall to buy Abercrombie and Fitch bluejeans. Saturne, in your diary pages you write beautifully about life as you see it. Can you tell us what the meaning of life to you is? I am the anti-nihilist. It's not trendy, cool, or edgy to be this self-imposed Charles Bukowski when you're a teenager. Life is hard? Puh-leeze. Let's go over to a place like... oh, say Afghanistan. Life is hard there. Do they bitch? Well, yes, but at the same time, they're declaring jihad against the United States. Doesn't look like they've thrown their hands up too high when things come a cropper. Life is a sensory and perceptive experience. You need an equal balance of both. Love is integral. Hate is to be expected and learned from. Pain accompanies the best lessons, and sometimes it's that pain that comes back and whispers the true meaning of things to you. The meaning of life is to also be seen naked on television at least once. You cite in your diary: "In the politics of sexuality, there is no grey area" What do you mean by that? There is a great book by a British filmmaker entitled, "At Your Own Risk" by Derek Jarman. He says, "Understand that sexuality is as wide as the sea... Until I'd enjoyed being fucked I had not reached balanced manhood. When you overcome your fear you understand that gender has its own prison. When I meet heterosexual men, I know they have experienced only half of love. All men are homosexual, some turn straight. It must be very odd to be a straight man because your sexuality is hopelessly defensive, like an ideal of racial purity. Heterosoc, imprisoned by monogamy in the ruins of romantic love, is quite dumbfounded when faced with our pluralism. I hope boys will carry on falling in love with boys and girls with girls and they'll find no way to change that." Gender does serve as a prison. Similarly, I am bisexual. When confronted with this, I'd get from the heterosocialist perspective, "See? You DO like girls! You are just confused!" from the gay community, I'd get, "Oh, you're just not coming out of the closet fully. You're a closeted fag taking the easy route out." It's so black and white. Either/or. I think it's disgusting. Just like in religions you can be eclectic, it is the same for sexuality. Neither ends of the polarity can be condoned as far as I'm concerned. Heterosexism is rampant, yes, but homosexuals going out into their parades and sucking face with the partners for the sheer reason of being flagrant? What purpose does that serve except making you look like a real whore? I shouldn't talk, I'm a major whore, but I'm not going to go out and make it to third base with my boyfriend in the park on the pretense that I'm "promoting gay awareness." Promote gay awareness by using your voice, your heart, and that grey lump o' shit in your cranium. In any case, I'm in the grey area, in a state of random vacillation. This isn't bad, and this isn't a symbol of sexual confusion. What can do you do if you honestly like both sexes? Your diary is full of all kinds of off the wall thoughts -- tell us what goes on in the head of Saturne? Sex. Love. Torrid romance. Art. Anger. Bitterness. Contempt. Mercy. It's a strange kaleidoscope of ideals and emotions. I'm a definite feeler not a thinker, so it's hard to put something as intangible as an emotion into a noun that suits it. In the genesis of my diary, I was mostly thinking about academics. Summer started and I entered a swing of weird depression and desire to be with someone. During the summer, it was spent with lots of thoughts on love, unrequited love, and betrayal. Late summer was desperation, bitterness, and anger. Now, as lessons have been learned, it is back to academics but I now pay attention to social climates more. Just like any person who changes thoughts and points of view over time, as does a diary. It is an ongoing evolution. If you could be any food, what would you be? Japanese seaweed salad, without a doubt. Rich, slightly tangy, spicy, healthy, and causes beautifully green shit the next morning. Interviewed by Trinity63
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