   More buttons... |
Please give a short bio of yourself for our readers. The Fool (F): Hey! There's nothing SHORT about me! Nathan (N): Relax, oh dirty minded alter-ego of mine. Sorry folks, The Fool can be a little coarse and unrefined at times, but he does have a bit of a point. As my readers can attest, when I get to talking, I tend to ramble-- F: --and ramble, and ramble, and ramble... N: --right. So I suggest grabbing a soda or something because we may be here awhile. Anyway, my name is Nathan, and my alter-ego is The Fool. F: Rawk on! N: Uh, yeah. I was born-- F: NAKED! N: --in Fresno, California, on October 2, 1972. That makes me-- F: Old. N: --almost 30. Please stop interrupting, Fool. You'll get your turn in a minute. Anyway, my dad got into the cable TV business and we moved around a lot. From Fresno, we hit Denver, Seattle, Dallas, and finally San Diego. As a kid, I was very imaginative and lived in my own little world most of the time. I was like a perfect cross between Susie and Calvin from "Calvin and Hobbes." I got Susie's grades, but had Calvin's imagination and attention span. In junior high, I was branded a nerd and got routinely beat up and learned to hate myself much more than anyone else possibly could hate me. My self esteem was (and is) somewhere near the gooey slime that grows in the gutter. In high school, I had a handful of the best friends a guy could have, and in the ten years since, I have been struggling to overcome being shy, depressed, and reclusive. I graduated from San Diego State with a degree in Biology, which I regret more than anything. I'm not a scientist and never will be one. Unfortunately, that's how I make a living now, dissolving capsules and playing with chemicals that will undoubtedly give me square-headed sperm with two tails that do nothing but sit around all day and drink beer and chew tobacco. Trailer park sperm. Great. But I get by, with The Fool's help, and have a surprisingly optimistic view of the world. I love life, just not necessarily MY life. I have more hobbies than should be legal, and enough free time to get to enjoy exactly none of them. Last week, I got married to the love of my life, and am anxious, but patient, to start a real family of my own. Okay Fool, it's all yours... F: Blah blah blah. Gawd, don't you EVER shut up? Anyway, I was born, in a sense, during Nathan's junior high days. After endless days of getting pushed around, having his head stuck into toilets, passing out in shop class, and all that nonsense that Nathan does his best to selectively block from his memory, he started hanging out on computer BBSes...the 80's version of the Internet. Nate became quite a little hacker at one point, copying Commodore 64 games and trading them with greasy fat weirdos from the Arctic circle. Eventually, I came into being as he started conversing with people who were slightly less dorkish who were hanging around on the boards. The imaginative, funny guy Nathan used to be when he was a kid came back out and was pretty popular, at least to the computer nerds who were jamming down the information superhighway at 300 baud. During high school, I merged back in with Nathan and hung out with his friends. He didn't have online access, so I managed to come out and play in real life. Two years ago, when Nathan started his online journal, he eventually let me out to act like the madman I am, and the rest as they say, is history. N: I don't have Multiple Personality Disorder, but I do have this distinct online persona who is completely different than the real Me. In real life, I am quiet, shy, polite, calm, collected-- F: --repressed-- N: --nice guy with no self confidence. The Fool though... F: ...is a bad ass trash talkin' dude who couldn't care less what people think of him. N: *sigh* Unfortunately, yes. F: And I'm a babe magnet! N: Can it. Why did you choose this username? N: In Shakespeare, the jesters and "fools," although providing comic relief to a world of murder and suicide and all around madness, offered a higher, and sometimes the only rational, insight to the universe. I like to think that buried beneath my silly rants-- F: --buried WAAAAAAY down-- N: --is something worthwhile. Call it the tiny shred of ego I have left. F: Also, it's a reference to the Beatles' "Fool on the Hill," in which the socially outcast loser fool man sits on a hill all alone, the butt of society's jokes, he sees the world spinning round and gets all dizzy and still doesn't throw up on them. N: Or something like that. "On The Outside" is from the Oingo Boingo song of the same name, a song that pretty much sums up my place in the universe. I don't quite fit in with society, so I often just sit back and watch the world pass by. I try to be like you, I try so very hard, but never quite make it. So now, I tend to think I never will. I'll pretend, I'll don the daily job, the commute, all that business, just to fit in...but inside I know I'm different, and not necessarily in a good way. F: Awww, I'm getting all weepy now. N: Shut up. Why do you keep a diary online? F: As a pathetic attempt to find women to kick me in the nuts! N: Oh for the love of God... F: Or at least send me voicemails talking about it! That's 1-800-MY-YAHOO, box 9874123698! Call now! It's FREE! N: Have you no dignity? F: Ummm, let me check...Nope. None. N: Go sit on the Lame Couch(tm) for a while and let me handle this. F: Yap yap yap... *sulks* N: I have a dream-- F: --oh yeah! That one about Natalie Portman and the schoolgirl outfit with the awesome knee-high boots, and she kung fu's you for hours on end? N: *glares at The Fool* F: Oh, not that one I take it. N: I have a dream about being a "real" writer someday. I've attempted to keep a paper journal before, but usually lose interest in a few months. The last try was my senior year of high school and the results were about as lame as a lot of The Fool's babbling. "DAY 1: I love Girl X. I'd die for her. She's the cutest girl I've ever seen. DAY 2: Forget Girl X. I love Girl Y. I'd die for her. She's the cutest girl I've ever seen. Except for maybe Girl Z, but she doesn't even know I exist. DAY 3: Girl Z smiled at me today. I'm going to marry her. DAY 4: Girl Z ignored me today so now I love Girl X again." And so on. It was frightfully lame. F: As were your first few entries online. N: Exactly. But after I hopped over to Diaryland, I started doing some deep thinking while trying to cope with my grandma's death, then Amanda's grandma's death, than my niece's birth. F: Then, suddenly, I popped back out and started slapping my own patented brand of Whack Ass Humor(tm) on Nathan's musings, and people started actually reading what Nathan was writing. N: I'm a very Pavlovian writer. If people like what I'm writing and are responsive, I write more. F: If you say he sucks, he starts sucking. He needs encouragement. And voicemails. N: Hush. But during that first summer, people gave me lots of encouragement and liked my goofy little writings, and I learned to enjoy entertaining people. F: Unfortunately, Nathan is melancholy, and it's hard work keeping you all entertained with him whining and complaining all the time. N: Hey! F: Deny it all you want, Mr. Pissypants, but you're a downer. People come to see ME! How important do you think a layout is for a web-based diary? Would you also comment on yours? N: You have to decide whether you are writing for yourself or writing for others. If you're just writing for yourself, it doesn't matter if your diary looks like the Louvre or a pile of penguin poo. If you're going to take the time to REALLY commit to writing in the diary for other people to read, you should personalize it. There's nothing wrong with using one of the Diaryland templates, but there are thousands of diaries out there, and if you want readers, you need a hook, and in most cases, that hook will be your layout. There are exceptions, but appearance is everything, just like in the Real World. F: Take Roseanne Barr and Natalie Portman. Actually, take Roseanne and leave Natalie for me. If they were both to publish a swimsuit calendar, which one would sell more? Roseanne is more talented, but Natalie is easier on the eyes and will almost undoubtedly draw more attention. Of course, your ultimate goal is Sandra Bullock, talented AND easy on the eyes. N: I chose the neon thingy because I think neon is cool. I take a lot of night pictures and tend to capture a lot of neon. It also gave me a chance to play around with Paintshop Pro and learn a little graphic design. F: Besides, neon makes people think of Vegas. Vegas makes people think of sex and money. I want to be associated when you think of sex and money. Send your sex and money to me. Yippee! You describe your diary as "2 diaries in one." Please explain! N: Well, sometimes I write for myself. To get out the thoughts and feelings I keep bottled up inside. To try and explain things which can't be explained. To rationalize and philosophize. To record events as they happen. I write for me, and only for me. These entries tend to be melancholy and/or mechanical. F: I write for fun. To keep you entertained. I want you to laugh so hard, you spew milk out your nose onto the keyboard, causing a short circuit that electrocutes you, but only so bad that you pee your pants. I don't want any of my readers dying on me. N: This duality is my personality, and I can't help but write this way. Some days I want to make people laugh, some days I want to just get through the day without crying. This kind of thing is REALLY hard for a lot of readers and is probably a reason why my diary isn't as popular as some of the Diaryland Gods like Uncle Bob and Bobby, who can consistently churn out hilarious entries day after day. I can't do that. There's just too much melancholy mush in my melon-- F: Nice alliteration. N: Thanks. On the other hand, a lot of my readers appreciate that kind of thing. They understand that The Fool is just an online persona and that I'm a real person who is honestly struggling through life, albeit with one hell of a sense of humor. F: That's me. N: Thanks pal. What was the best month for you/your diary so far? N: That's a tough one. It seems like every month has ups and downs. August, 2000 was good simply because of the sheer volume of funny stuff that came out of my-- F: --no, MY-- N: --okay, HIS brain. I was only working part time back then and was able to spend more time writing. It was quite a ride. When I started back up again in January 2001, after my depression hiatus, I wrote a few months of decent material. The parts of my journal I like best are the long epic stories, usually about vacations. Big Bear, Dallas, San Francisco, Denver...unfortunately, something usually happens after I start writing these entries, and I rarely get to finish them. Ah well. What did you learn from that infamous trip in Dallas? That was quite the exciting thing. N: Never take your fiancee, your sister, and your niece looking for hookers in the middle of the night. F: Break not thy wind in front of thy Unity Candle. N: And protect your feet from evil tuxedo shoes! Okay, so what's with the kicking obsession? N: Um, I'm going to have to pass this one on to The Fool. This is a part of my life that I try to pretend doesn't exist...There's a bit of an explanation in the FAQ in my journal, but in all honesty, in Real Life, I'm horrified that someone might find out about it. F: You're so repressed. N: Sorry. F: Anyway, I'm sure it's a kind of submissive sort of thing. What better what to be dominated by a female than by getting kicked in the nuts? There's a fine line between pleasure and pain--a lot of people like getting whipped or spanked, and although people think of those as fetishes, they're common and nobody thinks you're a freak if you like that sort of thing. And a lot of people like getting pooed on. Getting kicked is definitely more sanitary. N: No offense to those of you who like getting pooed on, of course. F: Of course. I know it's supposed to hurt, and sometimes it's ALMOST hurt, but the pleasure WAAAAAY overpowers any pain. It's not just the actual blow either--there's something amazingly sexy about a girl just talking about it or especially smirking or teasing right after, the way her hair flows during the kick, the ripple in the muscles of her leg during contact...It's all just amazingly erotic. N: Which undoubtedly sounds like the perverted ramblings of a madman. F: It's not like I enjoy pain--every other kind of pain, or even accidental crotch shots, hurt and absolutely DON'T turn me on. It's just the wonderful power a woman has in this respect. N: There's really no rational way to describe it. The sad thing is, I'm a total Nice Guy romantic type, so besides being too nice to ever make a girl mad enough to do it, nobody can ever believe that ANYONE, much less someone nice like me, would LIKE it. I mean, here's a guy who would gladly spend HOURS kissing and touching every square inch of a woman's body, finding new exciting ways to give her more pleasure than she could possibly know...and he likes, and really only wants, to get kicked in the crotch? F: I do though. It's amazing. N: It's the best thing a woman can do to me, as weird as it may sound. I'm still the same sweet nice guy. I just love a woman to hurt me. :) F: So once again, that number is 1-800-MY-YAHOO, box 9874123698... N: *ahem* F: What? N: We're through. Push the button, Frank... Interviewed by Stats01
|
most recently: 8:15 a.m. latest interviews Bye until our move! - 2003-05-03 For all previous interviews, see our ARCHIVE For how to apply for an interview, read our RULES To talk with other diarists, visit our FORUM To leave a message for Interview, sign our GUESTBOOK To help us and be really cool, you can LINK to us! We support the AUCTIONS This site is hosted by DIARYLAND |
|||||||
| designed by bug::design |
