Please give a short bio of yourself for our readers.
My adoptive parents were whale watching off the coast of Alaska in 1982
when a giant orca leapt over the boat. In mid-air, I was spit from the
blowhole and landed in my adoptive father's pocket.
Although I was merely 2 1/4 inches in diameter, my parents put me in warm
water upon arriving home where I expanded into the 20 year old female that I
have been for the past 20 years, ironically.
Why did you choose this username?
Well, being that I was online so often due to unemployment, I thought
"unemployed" was the only name that fit.
Why do you keep a diary online?
I'd like to say that it helps me with my emotions and that it has made me
a much more a deep, poetic, and spiritual person. But then I'd be lying. I'm
a feedback whore and I want people to love me and laugh at my jokes.
How important do you think a layout is for a web-based diary? Would you
also comment on yours?
When I'm surfing around Diaryland, I have to say that an interesting and
neat diary layout catches my eye. If the writing it good and can hold my
interest, I could care less what the layout looks like, as long as I can
read it. However, I often find myself skimming right over default Diaryland
layouts.
As for my layout, the basic outline and tables were done by Astralounge and the graphics and
style were done by me. I've had a bit of an Andy Warhol obsession for the
past 4 or 5 years, so my layout reflects that.
In one entry, you hilight classic Nickelodeon shows that you, like
myself, remember from your childhood. What show was the most definitive of
you during that time in your life?
I spent approximately 90% of my childhood watching Nickelodeon so this is
tough. I guess I'd have to say You Can't Do That On Television. I
remember I used to stand in the shower and come up with a clever line like,
"Hey Mara, what do you put on plants?" to which I, again, would respond
"Water" and then stick my head underneath the showerhead and pretend I was
getting doused with water, like on the show.
Tell us a little more about Russ. He appears quite often in your diary.
Russ is my Mexican domestic. He's been in my family for 72 years, despite
the fact that he is 19 years old. He washes my underwear, gives me
pedicures, and plucks my eyebrows. He also makes a mean plate of nachos.
Actually, Russ is my best friend. I met him at Bennington College in 2000 and we became roommates. We both left and went back home, me to Maine and he to California but we have
now been reunited and are moving to Portland, Oregon in a few weeks. I make
him brush my hair a lot.
Please explain the meaning of the Lance Bass entry.
Alright. You see, I saw a video of Nsync's in Germany in 1997 before they
were big here. My friend and I laughed and laughed at how ugly they were
(and they are and I am not just saying that because it's hip to think
they're ugly - THEY ARE), especially Lance Bass. It was about 3 years later
when I realize that I, in fact, look exactly like him. It hasn't done much
for my self-esteem.
What inspired the somewhat disturbing yet enjoyable photo gallery of
Babygirl (AKA Famosa Kalifa)?
Russ and I went shopping at Salvation Army one day. I was playing with
the soiled little dolls when I came across poor, little Babygirl. We
laughed so hard at her face that I made Russ purchase her. It wasn't until
about an hour of sticking her head out my car window and driving around that
we realized that her mouth could open and close, making her even uglier. We
laughed so hard that our stomachs hurt.
So we purchased a webcam and took some pictures. This resulted in a few
alterations of Babygirl, including a bald spot, ghetto fabulous white girl
hair and of course her on-and-off missing eyeball.