latest

archive

about

apply

faq

diaryzine

Link back:







More buttons...

Today's Interview: Agentmerp -

Please give a short bio of yourself for our readers.

I was born in Fairfax, Virginia on the day after Independence Day in 1980. When I was one my parents moved back to California where the rest of their families lived. I subsequently grew up in a San Francisco suburb with my parents and younger sister and never moved anywhere until I graduated high school. From there I moved in with my grandparents across town and started attending the local community college. Finally this past summer I've returned to the South to finish up my (many) remaining years of college, and I really love it here in Texas.

Why did you choose this username?

"Merp" is actually an acronym of my initials (my parents gifted me with not one, but two middle names). I added "Agent" because I was kind of into the X-Files and spies at the time (1999) and the name stuck. I use it for pretty much everything now.

Why do you keep a diary online?

Basically I started keeping this diary with the sole purpose of letting it be public so my friends could read it and see what I was dealing with. I have a hard time talking about my feelings, but I don't have that same problem when writing. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I've never been able to keep a paper journal going, and surprisingly with this one I've been writing in it every day. Since it is a public journal and my friends do read it, I have to admit I've gotten myself into a bit of trouble now and then, but on the whole it's really been a good experience, and I've met a ton of awesome people through Diaryland.

How important do you think a layout is for a web-based diary? Would you also comment on yours?

Personally, I can't read a diary that isn't visually stimulating. Even if the writing is absolutely great, if it has a bad layout or too much going on at once (lots of pictures, diaryrings, etc.) or whatever I can't stay focused on the content. And the content is obviously the important thing. I'd like to say layout doesn't matter to me, but it does. As for my own, I've changed it a ton of times since I first started writing online. I get bored easily, so I like to change my template. I like to incorporate my art in the designs, and at the moment I seem to have hit upon a theme close to many people's hearts: decapitated snowmen.

How'd you get the scar you keep thinking about? Why do you keep thinking about it?

In January of 2000 I had a (massive) ovarian tumor removed from my abdomen. To put it bluntly, it was 25 pounds. I never knew I had it until I got food poisoning and had to go to the doctor. It was a lady doctor/nurse practioner, and while she was poking at me she noticed that she couldn't feel any of my internal organs. (Apparently this is a bad thing.) One thing led to another and I had to have surgery. The operation resulted in the removal of the tumor, my fallopian tubes, my right ovary, and my appendix. Not to mention the eight inch scar down my stomach. It also resulted in the fact that I absolutely cannot have children without using in-vitro technology. It's been a difficult time coming to terms with that. I never thought that I would have to go through that procedure. I mean, I'm only twenty-one, and I certainly don't want or need kids right now, but every time I see my scar it's still hard to take in the way my life completely changed. But in a way I'm lucky because I didn't lose the ability to have children completely.

I know this is painful, but can you share with us who Jason and Cindy are, and what role they play in your life?

When I moved out of my parents' house after high school I moved in with my mom's parents who we all call Cindy and Jason instead of "Grandma" and "Grandpa" for various and assorted reasons. Suffice it to say that those are not their real names. Anyway, I lived with them for three years while I went to the community college and while I was going through my whole surgery deal. Cindy, my grandmother, has Alzheimer's. She wasn't too bad when I first moved in, but she was beginning to forget words and names. As the months progressed so did the Alzheimer's and now she doesn't speak much at all. It's scary watching a person who had been so smart and vital deteriorate to the point that she doesn't recognize you. By the time I was gearing up to move out at the end of summer this year, she was giving me blank looks as though wondering who this stranger was who had the audacity to live in her house. The hardest part though is watching what this is doing to Jason. They've been married for over fifty years and raised six kids together. And now he's watching the woman he loves disappear right before his eyes. He's her husband, but now he's her caretaker, and what they used to have together is essentially gone.

You say you hate being lied to -- have you ever lied, and what is it about lying that infuriates you?

Of course I've lied. Everybody's lied. Anybody who says different is a liar. I got in big trouble once when I was younger with my mom for something (I can't even remember what it was now), though, and her whole lecture about trust and whatnot really hit home. So now, whenever possible I try to be as honest as I can. The thing that I find so infuriating about it is that if I'm going to go the trouble of being honest, then the people that I'm close to had better do it too. Plus, it's hurtful when you find out that someone didn't trust you enough to tell you the truth. Or that they felt you would be better off for not knowing. It just drives me crazy.

Okay -- You get to be any Star Wars character, which one and why?

Oh, this is easy. Mara Jade. She's not in the movies, but in the novels and comic books. She's a Jedi, AND she eventually marries Luke Skywalker, who is my own personal hero. Plus, she worked for the Emperor, which had to be pretty cool. All that dark side of the Force and stuff. Heh.

Interviewed by Trinity63

previous next

most recently:

1:22 p.m.
2001-12-06

Agentmerp

latest interviews

Bye until our move! - 2003-05-03
drastane - 2003-05-03
whymeohgod - 2003-05-03
jamiestar - 2003-05-03
blinkme-182 - 2003-05-03

For all previous interviews, see our ARCHIVE

For how to apply for an interview, read our RULES

To talk with other diarists, visit our FORUM

To leave a message for Interview, sign our GUESTBOOK

To help us and be really cool, you can LINK to us!

We support the AUCTIONS

This site is hosted by DIARYLAND

designed by bug::design

back to top