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Please give a short bio of yourself for our readers. All about me: Redhead, nearing 25 (October 7th), who has been classified as everything from a sweet girl to an ice queen. I'm a resident of the ever-so-hot town of Phoenix, Arizona. I have a 2 1/2 year old son named Brendan Christopher, my blue-eyed, always smiling angel. Currently I'm making my living as a web designer for a small company here and loving (almost!) every minute of it. Why did you choose this username? Really nothing in particular. Its the username I use for everything. I was talking with a friend one day and I decided I needed a new name to go by, as the other ones I used were just getting old to me. So we picked a character out of a book - Azaezel -- and put the 'ya' at the end to make it feminine. That's all there was to it Why do you keep a diary online? It started out as a place for me to vent. One of my best friends, Malkavia, sent me the link to diaryland and let me in on what at the time was the 'secret' of online journaling. (Okay, it wasn't a big secret, but to us it was a whole new world.) My life at the time was in complete chaos. Days went by and I had no way to let out my frustrations, pains and everything in between. I could talk to my friends of course, but there was only so much that could be said before it became the same rhetoric. My diary gave me an outlet of creativity that I didn't have before. When I finish writing an entry, I'm able to look at what I've said, look back at what I've said before and gain some objectivity on various things in my life. Its one of the things that's helped me find some sort of balance even when it seems utterly impossible. How important do you think a layout is for a web-based diary? Would you also comment on yours? The layout is the second most important thing, next to the content of a web-based diary. When you're going from site to site on the internet, presentation is a big part of keeping the interest of a reader/visitor to your site. If something is presented in a poor visual manner-- clashing colours, disjointed text, navigation that's hard to find; staying to read what the writer has to say isn't likely to happen. Even if they are the most brilliant writer on the internet, they may very well go unnoticed because the manner in which their content was presented wasn't all that it could have been. My own design is, of course, a reflection of me. The gray and orange is a direct look at how my emotions run on the most basic level. Always extremes with no real in betweens. I'm either hot or cold. It also shows how I live my life, all or nothing. Period. Keeping the entry in its own little box, rather than letting it just flow down the page, is much how I keep those emotions, in their own little space, neatly cornered off so that they don't spill out into the wrong places-- or the places that I've convinced myself are wrong. In the background, there's a picture of an angel sculpture I distorted. That's me back there. The part of me that's hiding, the part that really is beautiful and is just waiting to be recognized. By others, but most of all, by me. Tell me what it's like to be uncomfortable in your own skin, and what kinds of things cause this? Being uncomfortable in my own skin is a separation of the mind and body. Its sitting at a table with the best of my friends having coffee, knowing that in a physical sense this body that is supposed to belong to me is there, but in my mind I don't feel like I'm a part of what is going on. It started out as a vague notion when I was 15. At that age it was more of me fighting against a world that didn't seem to want me in it. A constant battle to just make sure I woke up the next morning. Honestly, I see now that its more common than I thought of, its part of the age and starting the journey of self-discovery. Now, nearing 25, being uncomfortable in my own skin is the place where I've grown more accepting of the world at large. Knowing that there will always be different people and situations that are there solely for the purpose of trying to take me apart and knowing how to accept that and get through to continue the journey of self-discovery. Being uncomfortable in my own skin is me still searching for myself, for that time when the marriage of the mind and body actually happens. That time when I can see clearly who I am and where I am going to take my life from there. What's it like being single? Is this a good thing, bad thing? Or indifferent thing? All of the above! Everyday is different. When I'm down about being single, it seems like every happy couple in Phoenix is parading past me. On good days, I could care less whether or not there are happy couples. I don't wonder why I'm not a part of one. The indifference is when my life keeps me so busy that I don't have time to reflect on being single. Those days are rare since I don't have any roommates currently, but there are days when I'm working, playing with my son, seeing my friends and whatnot, where I just don't have time to give those thoughts any time to get into my mind to find that good day/bad day point. Being single has honestly afforded me a luxury that people who are coupled do not have. One of which is independence. This was something that after nine years straight of relationships, I had totally forgotten about. What its like to be able to make my own decisions and not have to answer to anyone for them. Its also given me alot of time to work on my inner turmoils. I don't always accomplish what needs to be done, but you can't change the negative things about yourself or move on from things that have plagued you for years all in one day, but it has given me alot of time to make alot more headway than I thought possible when I was first facing down the whole 'being single' scene. It was really the best decision I could have ever made for myself at this point in the game. What do you truly care about? My son and my friends. Everything else is really inconsequential or just doesn't effect me in quite the same way that they do. I can lose cars, my electronic toys, my job, but my friends and especially my son, that's forever. Okay here is your zany, silly, spoof question that we at Interview are so fond of giving! I've just sprinkled fairy dust on you, and given you the power to fly, where are you flying to, and who you taking with, and what are you going to do? I would take everyone near and dear with me, then fly to Neverland. At heart I will always, and I mean ALWAYS, be young. I refuse to grow old gracefully and I would take everyone I love dearly with me to enjoy the ride. What are we going to do? Live life to the fullest and enjoy every adventure that comes our way. :) Interviewed by Trinity
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