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Please give a short bio of yourself for our readers. I grew up in Tennessee and went to college at a large southern university with a nauseating overabundance of sororities andfraternities. I wanted a lucrative career, so I majored in English and theater. My first adult jobs were waitress, Kinko's night shift employee, and, believe it or not, substitute daycare teacher (those poor little shits). Then I worked for a local queer newspaper for more than a decade. For the last couple of years I've been editing for two photography trade magazines. I've been with my lovely wife, Deb, since the spring of '91, and we've been in a polyamorous relationship with our best friends and next-door-neighbors, Jake and Sara, since the fall of '97. How's that for stability? For those who get confused, I am and always have been, a woman. I came out when I was 19. I'm a courtly butch lesbian top. I'm not much of a talker, but I'm a good kisser. I read romance novels and true crime stories. I quit smoking back in March, and this month I'm getting my reward-sex every day for a month. And let me tell you, that is the most effective incentive ever to quit smoking. Why did you choose this username? Badsnake was my first username back in the days of AOL 1.0 and my first 14.4 modem. It's an endearment of sorts. When you say it, you should think of the tone of a voluptuous dominatrix wearing a red satin corset and dangling Robert Downey Jr. on a leash, saying, "Bad boy," but not really meaning it. Or, if you know my wife, Deb, think of the tone she uses just before she's getting ready to smack my head because I'm being a little too playful in bed while she's trying to read.That's how it really came about. On Deb's wedding ring, which I designed, there's a little red gold snake. It's a bad snake. Why do you keep a diary online? I keep a diary so that I can remember these wonderful years of my life later on when I'm old and senile and walk around with a pantload all the time, which will probably be next year. Writing things down helps me keep them in my memory. I decided to try an online diary because I liked the automated organization. I've kept at it as long as I have because I started getting readers, and I'm a big exhibitionist at heart. I have an inner moppet who wants people to clap at everything she does. I call her Jon Benet. She's bad also. How important do you think a layout is for a web-based diary? Would you also comment on yours? I like fairly simple layouts that have a theme and say something about the diarist. It doesn't bug me when someone uses one of the templates because sometimes you just don't have the resources or time to customize, and I'd much rather see a template than one of those godawful jobbies with hideous tiles of the diarist's favorite musician. And please, for the love of God, don't put music on your page. Ever. For any reason. Less is more, people. Deb hates snakes, so I had to think of snake imagery that wouldn't scare her every time she read an entry. I'm very proud of the Badsnake header at the top of my page. Those are really my handcuffs and snake whip that form the B and the S. My layout has gen-u-wine snakeskin links, too. I went to a pet store with my digital camera, asked if I could take pictures, and promised I wouldn't use the flash. I took some shots of a snake in a glass tank and used those pictures to make the link graphics. You are involved in a polyamorous relationship. I am sure you are the envy of millions, you get your cake and you eat it too! Seriously, how complicated is that kind of a lifestyle? Right now I feel like we've got it down to a science, or at least we're used to the complexity. We had a very rough summer, but we pulled through just fine. The key is respect and maturity. Even when we have lapses of communication, respect and maturity will carry us through. And none of us feel a need to insert drama into our lives. That helps a lot. If you want specifics, on a typical Saturday we might deal with decisions wherein I want to have a date with Sara (and vice versa) in the afternoon while Deb is a work, but Deb wants to have a date with Jake, too. Jake would like a date, but she's planning on painting all the walls in her house and regrouting the tub that afternoon and will not likely have energy to spare for a date in the evening. So I start trying to convince Jake to put off one of those projects until next weekend so she won't be quite so worn out. Then Sara remembers that she has to do major grocery shopping that very afternoon or she and Jake will undoubtedly starve on Sunday. And long a she's grocery shopping, she might as well go to Value Village. So I'm thinking everyone can still have dates on Saturday night. Jake and I both take naps. Deb comes home from a hideous day at work and needs and deserves big spoiling and treats. Everyone decides they'd rather have KFC and watch a movie, so dates are postponed to a specific two-and-a-half hour time slot on Sunday. And that's just the weekend. A weekend when nobody has their period. And no, we're not quite synchronized. You have a lot of people who list your diary as a favorite, 182 to be exact. How does it feel to know that so many people read what you have to say? By the time I got around to completing the interview, my faves total was up to 220-something. I absolutely love it. I'm as big a hit whore as anyone out there, and here's no doubt that it makes me work harder to write better. And to try to write frequently. I think it's wonderful that people who would never, ever, knowingly run into someone like me in their day-to-day lives get to know a little bit about us and learn that "queer and kinky" isn't synonymous with "bad person." If you could change one flaw in your life, what would it be? There are plenty of things about me that I wouldn't mind changing. I'm a little too shy. I'm way too lazy. I lack self discipline. My temper, when it surfaces, is very unpleasant. I can be as manipulative as my mother and not even know I'm doing it. And my memory is going way faster than I'm comfortable with. But there's not a damn thing about my life that I would call flawed. I can't think of another person in the universe who has a better life than I do right now, and that's the truth. I've said several times in my diary that I must've saved a bunch of orphans and puppies in my last incarnation, because I sure as hell am being rewarded in this one. I just hope I'm not screwing up my next life by kicking back and enjoying this one so much. We here at Interview save the last question, as the silly question to wrap things up, so here's yours: What is your ultimate fantasy? (Yes, Bad, you can include Sara-geez!) This was the hardest question of the whole interview. The real stumper that kept me from completing it for so long. You'd think that someone like me would have her ultimate fantasy all mapped out and scheduled for next Tuesday, but I don't. You'd also think I'd have a fantasy that involved particular people in a certain scenario, but I don't. Okay, so there's this one where Sigourney Weaver, Jodie Foster, and Whoopi Goldberg are drawing straws to see who gets me first. But that still wouldn't be my ultimate fantasy. I've already lived out more sexual fantasies than I could think of on my own, so my fantasies tend to be Lifestyles of the Don't Have to Work Anymore variety. The four of us would live in a perfect little town where it snows in the winter but has an excellent growing season for Deb's garden in the summer. Sara could be the town's detective, and there would be just enough crime (always involving strangers just passing through) to keep her interested. Deb would run the cafe and bookstore, but we'd hire someone else to take care of all the money aspects. And Jake could be the local handy man, fixing everything from clogged sinks to poorly chosen design schemes. Me, I'd take pictures and write about the colorful townsfolk, never revealing the secret location of our little Shangri-La. We'd live to be batty old coots who cracked each other up whenever we passed gas or copped a feel. Or, if you want the off-the-rack answer: I'm a pirate, Sara is my captive, I've got her bound and gagged in my cabin and there's a gleaming blade in my hand. Blah, blah, blah, throbbing-loin-cakes. Interviewed by Trinity
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