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Please give a short bio of yourself for our readers. i'm elissa from san diego california, originally born in oakland. i'm shy, quiet and am constantly calculating when i will make my grand enterance into the world of the modern american... i create and destroy therefore i am. though as far as i can see...i won't become that bold anytime in the near future. instead wallowing around in existence and college, labeling myself a writer and artist. i don't want to be the next hunter s. thompson, but being the next revolutionized sylvia plath wouldn't be such a bad daydream. i spend my days painting and drawing, writing and communting on the san diego metropolitian transit system. the narrow space between reality and insanity holds whatever passion i harvest... where as the outside edges that breed hatred and lack of belief kills the spirit. though, i'm not as pessimistic as i may seem... i give both sides an equality that leaves me neither happy nor sad. i'm the girl on the bus, in the back with headphones on... that's basically it.and i am moving to san francisco in the fall. Why did you choose this username well, "bluesky83" really has nothing to do with anything. i mean i do live in the city of sun, where abluesky is daily drug for a beach town magnet. i suppose i could've used a name that reflected my writing or myself. but there seems to be a real corny-ness underneath that prospect, i don't really define my personality or writing as anything. so, as i don't partically love my user name i don't loathe it either. it really doesn't matter to me... call it cryptic. Why do you keep a diary online? i would forget to write in a journal, and my chicken scratch is painfully obvious. it gives me a reason not to totally dislike the internet. i like the feeling of spilling out words and emotion intertwind with the apsect of not bottling it up. i can project whatever i want and it's a medium to which i can't be censored. How important do you think a layout is for a web-based diary? Would you also comment on yours? not that important... i see alot of extravaganza within design and it really distracts from entries. I think a design is whatever the person makes it. i mean if they want to have a corey feldman tiled background with orange text and thousand marquees then that's beautiful to me. my design is just reflective of how i am that day i designed, and i wanted to make a design myself... black and blue just speaks classic to me and i find it a killer combination. i really hate howthere is this little business in d-land, and how it's been taken over by webdesigners. i mean a diary isn't about design, it's really not about anything that can be defined. Throughout much of your writing, suicide seems to be a dominant theme. What are your personal thoughts on suicide? Would or have you ever attempted it? there is no dominant theme in my journal... and implying suicide never really occurs to me, except maybe in a couple entries when it may have been soaked in my memory. i focus on the struggle of life, and i speak my mind about the words that really go throughout my head. the subconscience is strong and powerful and really cannot be denied under any circumstances. i am not going to comment on suicide because i feel i would be participating in an exploitation on the subject itself and since i don't consider it a factor in my diary. i don't really write with themes in my head, it just comes out as is. You titled your diary "The sad art nerd". What significance does this title have to your life? well art is the foundation of so many things in my life, i am a self proclaimed nerd so it all comes together. i guess what i am saying is that the diary you are reading is the thoughts of a sad art nerd... it's not definative, just a simple label, that has become a multi-layered outline of my being. You write your entries in such a poetic style, and the topic of music always seems to occur in some form. How important do you think music is to you? there will always be an ongoing soundtrack in my head... i pay close attention to lyrics and music...and i let it take me over. it's extremely mysterious the way music can heal, piss off, sadden and enchant a person. without music... we would all have to try to make melodies out of silence. i guess, music had to be created... and it's there for me to absorb up in everyway. Okay now, we always do one fun little question at the end of each interview. So, if you could invent one device to change the course of mankind, what would it do? i would shun any mechanical device that would change humanity. where as i believe emotion is our greatest and worse contribution to change... it is the most powerful and the most important. as i would want to converte hate into love, i couldn't. simply asking for a little bit more compassion would go along way with the ability and capacity of our minds. we have used some of our greatest strengths in our intelligence to create so much evil without learning from it. the only way to change the course of anything would be to perserve what we have created and destroyed. history is the ultimate course of change. Interviewed by Notum
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